Matter Out of Place
by Damara
Summary: Following the events set forth in Spiral, Nathan and Audrey embark on an investigation into her true identity, and discover that sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.


**Title: Matter Out of Place**

**Author: Damara **

**Rating: K+ (Possibly T in later chapters)**

**Disclaimer**: The characters herein are NOT mine. I just wanted to bring them out to play for a little while. I promise to return them when I'm done. All reserved rights belong to the creative geniuses that brought us Haven. Oh, and the Syfy network too, I suppose **NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT IS INTENDED**.

**Spoilers: **"Spiral" (Season 1). This takes place shortly after Nathan & Audrey's beach scene, but before their reconciliation at episodes end. Then it's all pretty much a mental crap shoot from there!

**Summary**: Following the events set forth in Spiral, Nathan and Audrey embark on an investigation into her true identity, and discover that sometimes truth really is stranger than fiction.

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><p>[Chapter One] — In Silence<p>

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><p>Audrey observed in silence as waves crested and crashed in the distance; the sea breeze violently whipped her hair in every direction as she stood in quiet contemplation. None of them could have predicted what would happen when they'd set out this morning, and yet the day's events had changed each one of them. Like an erupting volcano leaving nothing but ruin in its wake, Audrey couldn't help feeling as though their collective worlds had been burned to cinders. And no one's worse than Nathan's. He'd lost so much, and suffered more in one day than any person should ever have to in a lifetime.<p>

As she thought back to their moment on the beach she recalled how angry he'd been. She'd tried to help. But now, he wouldn't talk to her. He wouldn't let her in; and somehow that was more painful than anything she'd ever felt.

Audrey stood, her eyes set on the horizon as they glazed over with stubborn tears. _Or maybe it was her that was stubborn_, she thought to herself. Here she stood, refusing to accept the weight of her own disappointment. Logically, she knew she'd done all she could. She _shouldn't_ feel guilty, but there it was nonetheless…bubbling to the surface, threatening to pull her under. Why _hadn't_ she able to help the Chief? All the Troubled people she'd helped since arriving in Haven, and she couldn't save him? Why? What good was she if couldn't help the people she cared for most? After all, that was why she was here wasn't it? To help those cursed by the cruelty of their own fates; people without a voice to call for the help they so desperately needed.

_Hadn't that been the point of all this? _

_Dammit! _

She hated this; this continuously unfolding mystery that kept her constantly guessing at her purpose in life. She felt just as cursed as the poor souls she fought so vigorously to protect. And even worse, was that moments like these made her feel just as lost and useless as before she'd joined the FBI…back when Audrey Parker was little more than a lonely orphan without anyone to call her own.

Back before she'd met Nathan…

From the moment she'd come to this strange little town, she'd sensed a familiarity and a connection to this place; she'd felt a part of something for the first time. But most importantly and perhaps more amazingly, was the fact that it wasn't just to this place that she'd felt a sense of belonging…it was to _somebody_.

Nathan, he was the one person in the world that she knew she could trust; the only person she could count on. And today, after all that had happened, he was also the one person who he had every reason to hate her. But then she understood that feeling all too well, and she didn't blame him for it either; because she hated _herself_ for not being able to give him the answers she knew he'd needed on that beach…the moment he'd needed her the most.

So here she stood, quiet and reflective. Her salty tears spilling out and drying in the sea air; her skin clammy as her hair pricked and stuck haphazardly to her cheeks. And her heart…well, that silently broke at the thought that she might have just lost her best friend, and the only person she'd ever loved unconditionally.

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><p><em><strong>Hi all! This is my first Haven fic, and truth be told, my first fic back from a long writing hiatus. What can I say, after being out of things for so long its wonderful to feel the creative juices flowing. This show, and this pairing have effectively kicked my muse back into action. By the way, did I mention that feedback is love? <strong>**:) **_


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